Thursday, March 17, 2005

A disclaimer of sorts

In an ongoing effort to keep it real, I thought I should share the source of my opinions before I started spewing them forth like the gospel that they are. So, without further ado, I give you a short essay I like to call "Food and Me". Enjoy.

Food is a very personal thing. I can only say for certain what I like (and sometimes I even lie to myself, i.e. beer). I say this because I have a very large bias - I love cheese. I can't get enough of it. If someone served me carpet covered in cheese, I'm ashamed to say I would probably eat it.

I also don't like a few of the vegetarian standards, namely mushrooms and nuts. I don't know why. I believe you when you say they are tasty. (No, I don't. You're just wrong.) Mushrooms - I can't get past the texture to even think about the taste. It's what I imagine putting a slug in my mouth would feel like. No thank you. Nuts - (let's keep it clean kids) it's a mystery. I do like peanuts and pine nuts. I'm not sure they're actually nuts though. Whatever, it's my site, my mouth and I don't like them. Deal mother fucker.

As for food allergies, I have a few non-lethal ones. My allergy to mangos is such that I'm a little bit afraid of them. (If you share this allergy you know exactly why they're scary). Pineapple and kiwi just burn my mouth like acid, so I generally don't eat them. I'll keep you updated. I've heard the list just gets bigger (like my bottom) with age.

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.


At 2:28 PM, March 18, 2005, Blogger TheDarkLordDerfla said...


its about time CHUMP.

Death to mushrooms! I couldn't have put it better myself.

At 4:23 PM, March 18, 2005, Anonymous Lauryn said...

I can't agree with you more regarding mushrooms. The only thing more distainful than the texture and taste of a mushroom is the smell, which smells like a hole filled with wet worms and maggots!!!


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